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YoVille

I am so enjoying furnishing my YoVille apartment! :)
come visit it at - http://www.yoville.com/?s=283525.

Church and Business

If God was an entrepreneur, my golly! He would have made millions-no, make it billions, even trillions!

He is the Champ!

Last week, I went with my parents to the Redemptorist Church in Baclaran, or more famously known as Baclaran Church. Every Wednesday, hundreds of people crowd the church praying for good things to come to their lives.

Sometimes, I think,the church is a good place to learn business.

If God has been selling faith, boy! Did He capture all the segments of all markets.

Let’s see, at Baclaran, there are people about the age of a grandmother, and a grandfather.

There are groups of teen-agers mostly females.

A husband and a wife.

A single man and a woman.

A father, a mother.

A pregnant mom.

A doctor. A nursing student. A teacher. An engineer perhaps.

A sister, an aunt.

An uncle. A friend. A brother.

A student, a young professional.

Children- girls and boys.

There are those who went there with their cars and their SUVs. There are those who went there barefooted. Some were just wearing slippers and used it as kneeling pad as they pray their way to the altar. On the other hand, some rode public transport vehicles to make their prayers heard.

In short, everyone, from all walks of life, is there.

Everyone doing one common thing- praying.

Husband and wife could be praying for a long and lasting relationship or for the kids to finish schooling. From here, we can offer marriage enhancing seminars or for kids, school insurance for kids.

A single man and woman could be praying to find their partners in life.

From here, we can offer events like meeting people. Dating, etc. and what are other things that go with dating? Hmm.. fine dining place, flowers, chocolates. Author a book how to meet the right guy for you.

How about the babies and the infants? Let’s see, clothes, stroller, toys of course! milk, feeding bottles.

Lola and lolo can be offered health products, or leisure and recreational activities. It’s their time to prolong their life and enjoy life more.

And come to think of if, whatever age bracket, gender, or status in life, we are all praying for things that will make our lives worry-free and convenient.

And it is amazing, how we all have our faith. Faith, that we did not buy from a mall or from online shop.

But God loves us so much, He gave faith to us for free!

We keep using faith in our everyday lives.

And as what they say, when you believe in something, you know you can make it happen. And maybe, just like God believes in us and in the faith He taught us, that’s the reason why we keep on coming back to him and we will always be His loyal and regular customers.

Listen Ladies!

It is my habit to dress up whenever my boyfriend and I go out on a date. I enjoy it, I don’t know why.

I really exert effort to look my best-and yeah be beautiful for him (I typed this smiling shyly). I plan what shirt or blouse, or dress to wear and even my shoes.

Undergoing all those preparation, sometimes, I expect him to be generous in complimenting me. Like, this color looks good on you, etc.

So, we went out, watched a good movie, ate dinner, laugh, have a nice silent walk, until we go home, I never heard, one single compliment.

I am surprised-tired even (for waiting and for preparing). But I don’t tell him.

Laughters.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s very wonderful and such a nice nice nice, loving man.

but as a girl, you know, you enjoy affirmation.

Sometimes, I think if I am just too sensitive or is it but natural to all girls be like that.

After reading the article below, I found the answer!

Aha! I’m not the only girl in the planet feeling that way.

So for you ladies who are waiting for your man to affirm you once in a while, this is for you.

You might not know that he has said it a lot of times, but we were not listening.

A Dating Guide for Women: "Man Talk" Translation

By David Wygant Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Jun 17, 2008

When you first look at a man and a woman, you are able to notice the subtle differences between the sexes. It is when the two sexes communicate with each other, however, that the differences become truly glaring. This is because one is speaking "he talk" while the other is speaking "she talk."

Where this difference really becomes a problem is when you are in a relationship, and you need to know how to combine "he talk" and "she talk" into "we talk." So I feel like it's my job as a man and as a dating coach to help women learn how to understand "he talk" (or "man talk" as I like to call it), so that they won't need to hire a translator to understand what men are saying.

Women want men to express their feelings. They complain, "Why can't he just say he loves me?" or, "I wish he would just compliment me more."

What you need to pay attention to and realize, though, is that men do tell you they love you and compliment you... they just do it using their own language. Men, in fact, sometimes don't use words at all when they are communicating with you.

This will help you understand men's verbal and non-verbal language.

Sometimes it's not what men say, but it's their actions that are significant.

Sometimes it's not what men say, but it's their actions that are significant. It is necessary for women to learn to interpret men's roundabout way of communicating with them.

Here are 10 things that men say and do, and what they really mean:

1. He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn't miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he's ready to take the relationship to the next level.

2. Since you recently took him to your family's house for dinner, he can't stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn't mind being a part of your family.

3. He teases you about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he's really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys... we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don't.

4. A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened.

5. A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He's telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of man talk.

6. When a man calls you and says, "I want you to meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He's introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are attractive and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.

7. After sleeping over at his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he's wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.

8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.

9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.

10. He tells you, "I've cleaned today." What this means in man talk is, "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the worst way he can spend a day.

Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you'll become far more secure in your dating and relationships.

Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you'll become far more secure in your dating and relationships. So the next time you go over to your man's house and he looks at you and says, "I cleaned today," you'll know that he really meant to say, "I must really like you, because I can ignore my mess most of the time."

things that love has proved true to me

1. When you are totally in to this person, you wouldn't care if the guy next to you, or sitting across is the most handsome and chiseled model there is.

2. you extend your patience a mile longer.

3. you think twice before saying anything because, you might hurt him. if you need to say it, paraphrase it a bit.

4. you let him go out with his friends from time to time.

5. you give him space.

6. always remember, that it shouldn't always be about you.

so sweet...

I find it really sweet, when a guy kinds of pull down the sleeves or strap of the shirt
and gently kisses the girl's shoulder.

when you need a little boost

“I live in a space of thankfulness, and I have been rewarded a million times over for it. I started giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That’s because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.”
– Oprah Winfrey

No Laughs for Djoker

I am sad.
Novak Djokovic waved goodbye to the clay courts last night after being defeated by Nadal.
Nadal was very successful in destroying him physically and mentally.
Tsk.Tsk.
Next time Novak!

Take your pick!

few days away from the finals!

Follow the scores!

Marat's Moments

I have been religiously following the Grand Slams of tennis.

For all of us tennis fans- the battle over the clay courts has begun. It will pretty soon end and I bet you are anticipating and sending hoorays to your favorite picks!

I have been watching players whack, slam, slice and serve the ball at the 2008 Roland Garros.

Late last week, I watched Marat Safin play against Nikolay Davydenko.

The game ended in 3 sets.

Another defeat for Marat.

I read a write-up about him in the news section of the official site of the French Open, and it was said that he has a new coach – Hernan Gumy. It was written that coach Gumy was able to shape him up and bounce back to his confidence.

Aha! Marat’s mojo is back.

So much for the excitement, I found out the ant-climactic news.

Funny as it may sound, but I feel for Marat.

Can frustration vibrate and send waves from Paris to the Philippines?

(Laughter)

Marat, as I saw him, is a dangerous son of tennis.

He’s so dangerous that he is a threat even to himself.

We saw Marat play and send his opponents home.

We saw him thump his racquets and smash it on his chair.

We saw him get fines and warnings from the referees.

We saw him act like a goof to make the fans smile.

We saw him rise, maintain his post, rise, and fall.

After the knee injury, there the problem began.

It’s sad to see him struggle to pass through all of those powerful players and post his name again on the list of the top seed.

It’s not that he doesn’t play well, in fact, he’s dangerous and aggressive as ever.

But maybe, his draws are pretty too premature.

Early this year, at the Australian Open, Marat displayed superb tennis against Cypriot Marcus Bagdhatis. He was able to redeem himself and catch up with the 2 last sets.

I was glued to the television wishing that he can slide through that stage and come back in the arena.

Unfortunately, he did not.

Well, I guess, Marat’s team – his sports psychologist, coach, mentor, family- has told him time and time and again, that you can not win all the time and you just have to keep on going.

As for me (a tennis player, but not a pro)- there are really times when your body and mind and let’s include the universe-are not in sync with one another, forcing you not to perform well. But, it doesn’t mean that it will be like that forever.

There’s always a chance to rise, and fall, and improve and rise again!

I wish him all the best!

This is exactly who i am now

Pilgrim's Theme
(jmm)


Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things


I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)


For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)


Why don't we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we'll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things

i jumped off the cliff

so bravely.

I didn’t fear the heights

Or even what will catch me.

And I jumped.

And I fell.

And I fell.

I splashed in to the ocean.

And I continuously fall.

So deep.

It feels like drowning.

But I enjoy the water.

The coolness.

The unsteady current.

The gentle wave.

And I’m falling deeply.

I’m swimming in an ocean of vulnerability.

It drowns me

And it scares me.

But I don’t want to get out on the surface.

anyone from Japan?

Hi! i'm planning to go to Japan. when is the best time to go there?
i want to see the cherry blossoms. research says, that it happens mid of april.
any suggestions? thanks!

Fun,Fit and Realization

Call me over-acting, but for the entire day, nothing was running in my head but the battle between belly dance and boxing.
i've been struggling the past weeks to try something new.
to try something that will spark my interest and get me fit.

So I've chosen, to belly dance this evening.
boy, did i sway my hips, throw my head in circles, stretch my left and right leg,
swing my head, controlled my butt muscles, stand in good posture, pointed my toes, tuck my chest, collapse my stomach, and shake my butt!
it isn't easy i tell ya!
after attending 2 sessions, i bow in awe to shakira!
belly dancing requires you to separate your muscles and its movements.
it really is a good way to tone your legs, hips,butt, and yes-your belly.
After that, i joined the flamenco class.
it also requires proper coordination and timing.
a dance that needs accurate counting for you to execute the steps properly.
it is also graceful, and very formal.

these dances are really beautiful and meant to be appreciated, but sadly, they are not for me.
you know what i realized,how much i love tennis and how much i miss playing it.
while dancing the flamenco, i can't help but look at the watch to see how many minutes more before the session ends. whereas, with tennis, i wish, i can stretch the day and hold the sun still to play a little longer.
my legs were hurting while dancing, and i was berating myself why i ever took the class.
whereas when playing tennis, i don't mind if my arms hurt like they were dislocated, or when i keep on puffing and breathing deeply for air, even if it feels like my ribs are exploding.
it was really something new that i tried, and something old that affirmed and fueled my love and i guess my passion for playing sports, especially tennis.
i am no pro.
but all i know, is i want to keep on playing it while my knees and my body are still strong and are still in place. it's an area of my life which really challenges me to keep on improving.

tonight, i will sleep with two lessons in my head
1. you have to risk to realize
and
2. (the instructor told us) when you struggle, it means you have a passion.

and with that, i was calmed.

Fun and Fit

Now that I have plenty of time to make myself fit,
i can't choose which between the two will i try tonight...heehee.:)

i tried belly dancing last saturday, and i had fun. it was my first time to belly dance.
plus, if go there , i can meet new people in the studio.

whereas, with boxing, i can do it everyday, which means, it's at a faster rate of burning fat and getting fit. but, it will be the same straight,jab,hook and upper cut punches, and no new people to meet.

it's his birthday-con't

won't be with him tonight. i planned something pa naman.
o well, anyway.

The drunken student meets the drunken master

I have a segment for our talk show- Light Talk- and it's about alcoholism.
We have to interview a recovered alcoholic to share his story and his struggles to combat his disease.
I volunteered to produce and write this segment, because, i-being an ex-alcoholic-can relate to it.
So, for all those who are recovering, and maybe ex members of alcoholics anonymous, this story is for you.

Pastor Sanchez.

Yes, he is a pastor. Yes, he preaches the word of God. Yes, encourages everyone to read the Bible.
Yes, who would have thought he is an alcoholic.
well, today, he is an ex-alcoholic.

he gave in to peer pressure at age 18 and started drinking alcohol.
busy making a living, his parents were not able to monitor his delinquent behavior.
Pastor gambled, played billiards when he was supposed to be in school, dared his friend to stab him when he was drunk, and almost raped their neighbor's help.

For a time, he was separated from his peers when he went to Manila.
He worked as a gasoline boy to support his schooling.
When he finished his Nautical course, he worked aboard a ship, and finally, made his way to be full-pledged seaman.

Being on the cruise for nine straight months, he was away from home, single, Pastor had his time of his life.
He drank beers, and tasted all the booze any country could ever offer.
He had sexual relationships with women from all the places their ship docked.
He smuggled golds and conduit it from one country to another.
He was having a hell of a good time. so he have thought.

Until he found out that he has acquired a sexually transmitted disease and his savings account is nearing empty. He stopped sending money to his parents, which, first of all, was his reason why he went aboard to work.

One vacation, he went home and his mom told him to just pay a visit to the Church.
He did what he was told, and he heard the preach from the Bible, saying "whoever wants to change his ways, come to Me (Lord)." Right there and then, it hit his heart hard enough to change him.



It was a drastic change he said. radical so to speak.
he went aboard the ship again and he threw all his liquors in the sea.
he locked his room during the nights so no prostitute can enter.

He went back to Manila again, and heard God's whisper.
He heard God calling him and asking him to preach His word.
He heed the call and told his father that he will go to Bible School.
His father went berserk and send him away.
But, pastor, obeyed God. and put his faith in Him, because, God asked him "you said I'm powerful, i can do everything, where's your faith, why can't you leave your parents and siblings to me."

And he followed.
Now, for so many years, he's been teaching the good news.
all his siblings finished their studies and are living a well-off life.

Amazing faith, don't you think?

it's his birthday!

i know, this is corny. but what the heck,
i love him! i love him! and i miss him tonight!
i love him. :) it's his birthday tomorrow, and i'm really lost for words
to tell him how thankful i am that i'm his girlfriend.
i want to thank him for stretching his patience!
and for choosing to understand rather than get angry.
i'm so excited to be with him for the coming years.
and i really, really, really pray that he will be the man that he wants him to be.

lost minutes

it feels sad when lovers don't hug before they go home.

Japan in my mind!

Japan! Japan! Here I come!

decisions...decisions

tell me what to take, what to do.
hmm....

kinda lost now

4 years ago, i was an alcoholic.
drinking every night, taking one booze, and another, and another, until my wallet gets burned.
i turned my back on this kind of life a long, long time ago.
but today, i'm tempted to try it again. to take just a little bit of that feeling again.
crazy.
but you see, im unstable right now-emotionally unstable.
i'm bored, i'm sad, and i just don't know how to make myself feel good at the moment.
and the worst part is, i don't know why.
how can i face my problem, if i don't know what to face.

i am not a negative person. i am cheerful, laughing eases so easily into my system.
i am hopeful. but today, and the past four days, i am but the oxymoron of what i am-or perhaps, what i think i am.

i don't know what's the source of my sadness. of my being dry today.
i feel bored, and i want to do something new. i want to have a new job.
but which job to switch to is my biggest question.
i am at a cross road. can't decide which turn to take, left, right, move back, move forward, stop, halt, go, don't move.

i think i have grown old and matured just like my 10-year old car.
still running, but needs tune-up once in a while.
the radiator has to filled-in by some coolants, the timing belt has to be changed,
brake pads need some altering.
still running, but needs to improve.
exteriors are still ok, but interiors have to be tuned-up a bit.

what has happened to me, i don't know.
all i know, as of the moment, is i want to be still for a while, be alone with myself, and write a letter to God, containing these thoughts:

what i want:
- is to live independently and have my own space
- i want to perfect a new language, la francaise, and work in an international agency, an embassy
- i want to be involved in a work, where, you develop programs and systems that will make people's life convenient and efficient.
- i want to save up to travel (i'm eyeing japan in 2 years)
- i want to do something that will make my family proud of me
- i want to be financially secure and independent
- i want a work that will compliment my growth
- i want to learn automechanics
- i want to have my own business (which now, im kind of reflecting on it, if my the business im in, is right for me)
- i want to be fit

and i know, i have to take a hell lot of risks to be able to reach my wants.
and there are reasons why i can't do that because im afraid of things such as:

- the distance between me and my bf that my work will create
- of not finding the right job for me
- of not being able to grow and improve, stuck up to where you started
- of not being able to look back and say that you were not able to achieve anything because i don't know what i want.

these things...i have to blog, because, i don't know who to tell. and i already know what my kind friends will tell me. and i don't want to burden them with such sad feelings.
i want to tell my bf, but, sometimes, i just can't. because, i don't want him to feel, that he has a sad girlfriend. and i think, it might be a turn off factor, because, im a girl who doesn't know what she wants.

but really, today, im down.
my workplace, has become, like a pill to me.
it ups me for a number of hours, but when its effect fades, im back to my thinking, puzzling,
kinda lost self again. i don't even have the appetite to eat lunch.

sigh.
what in heaven is happening to me?

movie imitating life? or the other way around?

Weird.
am i watching a movie?
The family of the Chinese boy doesn't know about the Filipina girlfriend.
They've been together for a year, but the family doesn't know.
Girlfriend knows the family is strict. But is, sometimes tempted to ask why can't the boyfriend tell the family.

I love my Panda. (blushing.heehee)

I knew he loved me the moment he cried when I hurt him....

It's a World of Compromise

Don't get me wrong, I am optimistic, but today, I felt, that living in the Philippines can be sad.

Call me emotional, but the rice shortage and the increasing prices of basic commodities are making me sad.

It just makes you swing your head in frustration to see people lining up in long queues just to buy 2 kilos of rice.

It's a problem not only in the Philippines, but a global thing.

But didn't the government foresee this problem?

Poor Philippines. The people had suffered too much. The nation has waited too long for its resurrection.

We have suffered too much.
In all aspects of our lives.
Morally, Financially, Psychologically, Physically, Spiritually, Socially.
What in heaven happened to us?
I am not bad mouthing the Philippines, I am a Filipino. A sad Filipino at this point.
The financial troubles had wreaked havoc in our system, in our lives.
Once stricken by financial troubles, there's a lot of compromising you need to do.

You have to compromise your needs. Compromising sometimes left us with limited choices, and sometimes even the lack of choices.

Your five kilos for the family yesterday, is compromised for three to make way for other supplemental needs.
we are sometimes forced to compromise our desire to feel that our stomach is full.

Financial troubles disrupt our way of life.

Young people are delaying marriages. Majority wants to be financially secured first before starting their own family.

Having babies has also become a consideration. Shall we promote artificial or natural method in planning so as to control the population? If population continues to boom, lack of resources is the next issue, among others.

Families are being broken.
Mother or Father has to go abroad to support the family.

There are so many compromises.
You want to enjoy your money but, you have to save your money.

We sometimes delay our plans.
We sometimes think twice if our dreams our reachable.

We know that the suffering will end.
But, when will this end? Who will end this?

Early this morning, i was listening to the radio.
A radio reporter is being harassed by a congressman because, the previous announced the questionable trip of the congressmen to South Africa.
That trip to South Africa is for him and other congressman study poverty.
Do they have to go far?
Poverty is everywhere in the Philippines.

I can not help but wonder, if the people in the government really care.
do they know why they are holding public positions?

Filipinos have suffered too much, tooooooo much.

It feels like we are the modern Israelites waiting to be free from slavery.
we are even worse, more than 100 years of wandering, where we are going.

Where are we going?
What happened to us?
If only every Filipino can realize, that the gem of the Philippines is its very people.

How to Lose 7 years of friendship in just 3 weeks

I was contemplating what title is apt for this essay. This emotional outpour of mine is a mix of feelings about lessons I learned in business, in being a friend and in being a complete stranger.

I am so disappointed with my friend. So disappointed that I if I see him, I can slap his face. And I won’t stop until his cheeks turn red and his jaws hurt.

There are so many things running in my mind, like tangled strings. But as I talk to our common friends, I discover things about him, shocking things about him. Strings are slowly untangling, and everything boiled down to one thing, I’m furious at him, and he lost me- a friend for seven years- because of his lies, lies and more lies.

So let me start my story.

Let’s call my friend A.P. We are working together on this soap business. He told me, he had contacts with a big and popular resort in Pampanga where we can supply soaps. Excited as I was for a big opportunity, I immediately get my acts together to be able to deliver.

I ordered the soaps, printed materials and did all the jazz just to make sure that the soaps will land in the shelves of the resort. I encountered problems along the way, but what the heck, it’s part of business so I kept going. I troubled shoot all the glitches and was able to pull through—without any single help coming from him.

Alright, so finally, I was able to finish everything, and we agreed that I will deliver the soaps in his pad later, he will deliver it to the resort in Pampanga. That was like 3 weeks ago. I made sure that I will finish everything before the Holy week. Since Holy Week is the peak season of the vacation. That was March 19-20. I accomplished everything on March 17.

So there, I delivered the soaps to his pad.

I really waited for March 19 to come! And on that day, I texted him, what happened, did the soaps look good on the shelves? He told me, he wasn’t able to give the soaps to the resort, because his contact person is not returning his calls and texts. I told him, why don’t you just go to their office, anyway, they will just be there. His reply was, he went there and can’t leave the soap because no one will receive the items. That blew me! Really blew my patience off my body! Why, why, did not wait for the person then!? That moment, my instinct knocked on my door and told me something’s wrong. He’s lying. For someone in business, for someone who is grabbing all the opportunities that comes his way, that moment, that moment of no one’s receiving is a frustrating thing. Why did he not even tell me, right at that moment!?

"friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them"

A week had passed, and I kept on calling him asking how the soaps are. One reason, another reason, another reason again. And mind you, I texted him at 9:00am, he’ll answer me at 5:00pm, or even later, or even the following day. He told me one night, he’s in the hospital with his dad, checking their blood pressure, that they ate this strange fish. That his aunt had a heart attack, that he has to guard his cousins—which are at his age- 26! Bullshit!

I was texting him, so annoyingly, that even myself is annoyed by me. One day, he told me, his grandfather died. That he can’t attend to the business and that their family is still mourning. Fine, give him space.

A week later, I composed myself and texted him again.

No reply. After two days, no reply.

I recalled everyone I know who knows him. I found his girl best friend – let’s call her lady R.

Lady R. Told me that there are many people hunting AP down.

I found out from AP’s officemate that AP still has many unsettled issues with their office. And most of these, involve money. I also found out, that he owes his pad-mate rental fee. He wasn’t able to pay his rent for a couple of months. Now he’s in hiding. In Alabang.

I was able to get the number of AP’s sister and I asked her can I have the address of their aunt in Alabang. She told me, “I don’t know, I haven’t been there.” So, I asked for the aunt’s number to personally ask the address. The sister’s reply was “My aunt doesn’t know their address” what the fuck! As, in what the fuck! That’s nothing but simple bullshit! You don’t know where you live. You don’t know your address. How stupid a person can be to give me that answer!

I told the sister, ok, if you can’t give me any information, I’ll just report him to the police to finally track him down and end all this his nonsense.

And wait, here’s the best part- AP’s sister doesn’t know about the grandfather’s death! They were all in baguio, for a week! enjoying their vacation when AP told me, their family is mourning. What is that?! WHY?!

I am just so furious! Incredibly furious! I told my boyfriend about it, and I cried to him on the phone. It’s not about the soap, nor the money. But it’s about the time, the patience and the hard work I did just to be able to deliver. It was about the opportunity and the hopes. It was easy for him to throw it and neglect it just like that because, he did not work for it. It has so much, so much value for me. It’s only P8,000.00, but I worked hard for it. I really, really did! I begged him to give me back my soap. I begged, I begged, but it fell on deaf ears. How could he be so stone-hearted?! I’m begging for something I worked hard for.

That night, I was really in pain. For the first time, I knew the feeling of how it is to be betrayed- by a very close friend. AP lied to me. He lied to me. He duped me. Fooled me. Stretched my patience sooooooooo long that I grew tired to sympathize with him. I felt abused as a friend. AP hurt me--- so bad.

At the other end of the spectrum, a person may lie because psychologically he cannot
acknowledge the truth -- even to himself.
Whether people lie depends on their environment -- the likelihood of getting caught and
what will happen if they are caught.
"We lie to cover lies," Ford says.

By Mark Kendall
The Press-Enterprise

Now I know, why he told me that they don’t have a landline phone in Alabang. Why his pad-mate is not talking to him. Why his ex-officemates are talking about him. all those fabricated stories!

As for my soap, I will be able to get them back, with the help of Lady R. Lady R was so kind to call and text people who knows AP. The soaps were left in the apartment. It never reached Pampanga. So, it was not true, that AP went to Pampanga and no one’s there to receive it.

It was a painful experience.

I really cried my heart out that night.

I never thought that he’d lie to me-big time. That he’ll drag me to that kind of mess. That he’d make things difficult for me. Why did he lie to me? Why did he?! i knew he needed money. I gave him sidelines-writing segments for him to earn. I could have earned that money and write those segments, but I made way for him. So he can earn, and have means even for a short time. How dare him do this to me?

As I've aforementioned, I was contemplating, what title is apt for this essay.

At first, I thought, Business 101- never, never, ever, ever do business with friends.

Or, times change, people also do- because I thought I knew him well.

But, I’m just letting my emotions run at this moment- AP lost our friendship. AP lost me as a friend. I don’t know if I will trust him again.

If I were to relate it to business, it’s so true what they say, it takes a lot of time to gain one single customer, but it only takes a while to lose one.

I value more hard work now. I got the boost that I need, to be determined in building up my business. I know I can make it, I know I can!

Part of my prayer, is for God to help me be a good friend. Maybe, this is His answer.

As for you, AP- a wasted, wandering soul- you lost 7 years of friendship in just 3 short weeks.

What in heaven happened to you? grow up.

Jesuits Release own 'guidelines' for discernment

Guidelines for Communal Discernment and Action
to Address the National Crisis

The Context
1. The ZTE-NBN controversy has once again raised questions about abuse of power
and systemic corruption in the government of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
(GMA). This is just the most recent in a series of events that indicates a worrisome
pattern of behavior in government, particularly of anomaly and cover-up, leading to
the weakening of Philippine democratic institutions. Among these are the “Hello
Garci” scandal, the fertilizer scam, the promulgation of calibrated preemptive
response (CPR), EO 464 and PP 1017, the unresolved extrajudicial killings and
disappearances of activists and media practitioners, the undermining of impeachment
proceedings, the pursuit of self-serving charter change, and the lack of a decisive
response by the government to the farmers of Sumilao, Bukidnon due to political
compromises in the implementation of agrarian reform. Good governance and longterm
reform are being sacrificed for short-term political survival.

2. Many Filipinos are outraged by this situation because of what appears to be a
deliberate suppression of truth, and the refusal of the government to be made
accountable. Many also feel confused and powerless, leading to a sense of
hopelessness and deepening distrust of political leaders and institutions. There is a
real danger that citizens will become disempowered and disengage themselves from
politics. At the same time, there are also those whose frustrations have led them to
join armed insurgent groups or are seriously considering insurrectionary and other
unconstitutional options because of the inability of government to effectively address
the issues of the poor and respond to the call for truth and accountability. Then
there are some members of the economic and political elite, who out of pragmatic
considerations, have adopted a “wait-and-see” position and have therefore not
helped in providing clear leadership in terms of clarifying the issues and options.
These include the politicians who are potential presidential candidates in the 2010
elections.

3. While there is anger and despair because of what is happening to the country, there
are also possibilities that have opened up with the recent events, for bringing about
serious and much-needed changes in the political and governance institutions and
culture of the country. How we respond as a people to this crisis will determine
whether we can make the most of this opportunity for a renewal of Philippine
democracy.
Diversity of Responses

4. Part of the reality of the present crisis is the diversity of views and even division
among people, across and within sectors, in their analyses of and reactions to the
situation. Therefore, it is important to note the range of political positions and
options among those who have responded. This range represents a continuum, that
allows a capture of the essential differences across groups, while at the same time
2
recognizing that there are real overlaps among the positions and those who represent
them.
a. “The economy is good. Let’s move on.” The Arroyo government and its
allies insist on projecting a picture of a growing economy, on the one hand,
which is undermined by unnecessary and debilitating “political noise,” on the
other hand, created by “partisan” groups whose only agenda is to unseat the
President. This type of politics is seen as bad, not just for economic growth,
but also for addressing the poverty problem because it is the poor who are
most affected by political instability. Therefore in this view, the country must
move on, since it argues that the administration has a mandate to rule until
2010. Likewise, there are those who may not explicitly support GMA, but
believe that given the alternatives, the President represents the lesser evil.
Effectively, they do not support any moves to hold the government
accountable.
b. “All politicians are corrupt. Let’s focus on jobs, services and the poor.”
Some business associations, socio-civic organizations and faith-based groups
are highly cynical of national politics or have given up on it altogether, and
thus do not see it as the avenue for meaningful change. They concentrate on
what they see as the more important tasks of job-creation and servicedelivery
(e.g., housing, health, education). They believe that what they are
doing has more long-term impact because they address the more basic issues
of poverty and hopelessness, which breed corruption and a culture of
dependence.
c. “Let the 2010 elections resolve the crisis.” Strict rule-of-law advocates
hold that President Arroyo legitimately won the 2004 elections, even if there
are serious and impeachable questions of cheating. They believe in
accountability through constitutional mechanisms like an independent factfinding
commission, impeachment and ultimately elections. In this
perspective, there is no doubt that the search for truth must be pursued, even
as they believe that the crisis can only be eventually and truly resolved
through the electoral exercise scheduled for 2010.
d. “Bring out the truth, hold GMA accountable, and work for reform.”
There are faith-based and civil society organizations that call for “truth,
accountability and reform,” emphasizing concrete measures like resolving the
issue of executive privilege, calling for an independent counsel (with
investigative and prosecutorial powers), pushing for possible impeachment,
and advocating long-term reforms pertaining to freedom of information and
transparency, electoral and civil service reform, and social justice (especially
agrarian reform). These initiatives are meant to provide constructive ways for
people to participate in meaningful democratic governance and institutionbuilding.
e. “No real reform is possible under GMA.” There are prominent concerned
individuals and groups who also adopt a truth-accountability-and-reform
3
framework, but are more emphatic that a precondition for genuine long-term
reform is holding President Arroyo directly accountable for the undermining
of institutions. Thus, they would tend to be more explicit in taking a
principled position that the government should step down, and that a
succession should hew as much as possible to the Constitution.
f. “Oust GMA.” Various groups from both the Left and the Right of the
political spectrum, many of them not sharing a long-term agenda, are
tactically coming together on the objective of ousting the Arroyo
government, even through extra-constitutional means. This may take the
form of an EDSA-like people power, military withdrawal of support, a
Cabinet coup, or some combination thereof. They are not in agreement on
who or what should assume power in the aftermath of an Arroyo ouster.
Some may accept Vice President Noli de Castro taking over, while others
prefer special elections (on the premise that the Vice President will also step
down or be made to do so) or “snap elections” or an interim civilian-military
junta that will put key reforms in place and oversee a return to constitutional
government. It is important to note that groups on the Left recognize the
need for bringing in more long-term structural reform, beyond merely
replacing the President.
Non-negotiable Principles
5. Given these and other options that may be taken, it is important to identify some
non-negotiables, for more thoughtful and responsible communal discernment and
action:
a. Uphold the truth. Truth, especially regarding cases of graft and corruption,
cannot be sacrificed in the name of stability. Stability that is the product of
unresolved issues tends to be shallow and short-lived, as the credibility and
capacity of institutions designated to pursue the truth are weakened, and
other cases of corruption surface again and again. Moreover, this situation
contributes to the reinforcement of a culture of impunity.
b. Exact accountability. Government must be held accountable by the
people, for all its actions and decisions, in all policy areas, and at every point
of its stay in power. This means that the exacting of accountability should
not take place only at the time of elections because democracy cannot be
confined to the single act of casting a vote, but is a continuing process of
citizen participation. Nevertheless, elections are also a core mechanism of
accountability, especially since the present political crisis is linked to
unresolved questions of electoral cheating. Part of the response necessary at
this time involves the rebuilding of public trust and confidence in
institutional mechanisms of accountability.
c. Pursue meaningful reforms. Even in situations of crisis, efforts at electoral,
bureaucratic, and social reform should not cease because many of the
4
country’s problems are really of a structural and institutional nature, needing
continuing transformation. There is a need to recognize the problems and
propose concrete solutions.
d. Build and strengthen democratic institutions. The country needs to
establish and fortify democratic institutions, which provide consistent,
organized and self-regulating procedures, applied to all citizens equally.
Among these institutions are due process, civilian supremacy, rule of law,
checks and balances. While Philippine democracy is still flawed, the genuine
gains that came with the dismantling of the Marcos dictatorship and the
restoration of democratic institutions should not be lost. The alternatives
(e.g. a military junta, a civilian-military authoritarian regime, a communist
government) are even more unstable, unpredictable, unsustainable, and
potentially harmful. A second democratic breakdown, moreover, will be
much more difficult to undo. Strong democratic institutions can likewise help
address the present conditions of real divisions among Filipinos. By
providing agreed-upon rules and mechanisms which are accepted as credible
and fair, institutions facilitate the peaceful resolution of conflicts among
dissenting positions and approaches.
e. Promote responsible and engaged citizenship. Moral outrage in the
present moment is called for, and is critical for a committed response; but it
must also lead to a serious and responsible consideration of consequences
for the medium and long term. Hopefully, such a responsible and engaged
citizenship will lead to the transformation of the present culture of one-sided
dependency on leaders. The country’s problems have been reinforced by
generations of patronage that have led Filipinos to depend disproportionately
on those who have more resources and more power, in politics and society at
large, in the Church, and even in the ordinary barrio or baranggay.
f. Champion active nonviolence and protect human rights. Action is to be
guided by principles of active nonviolence. “Violence is evil… violence is
unacceptable as a solution to problems…. Violence destroys what it claims to
defend: the dignity, the life, the freedom of human beings” (Compendium of the
Social Doctrine of the Church, 496). Human and civil rights must always be
respected and promoted (Centesimus Annus, 22). Any coercive means is
unacceptable, including forms of harassment, detention without due process,
and policies that seriously undermine the freedom of the press and the right
to self-expression and organization.
g. Prioritize the poor. The real and urgent concerns of the poor should be
given highest priority amidst all efforts to search for the truth and promote
accountability. If many Filipinos seem to be uninvolved or uninterested, it is
primarily because of an overriding concern for economic survival during very
hard times. Indeed, the search for the truth is integrally linked to the fate of
the poor. Corruption and dishonesty have made the lot of the poor worse.
Programs and initiatives from both government and the private sector to
address poverty and inequality, and to respond to the urgent needs of the
5
poor, in fields such as education, health, housing, livelihood and the
environment should continue to be supported, and indeed intensified.
h. Engage and involve the youth. It is important that all activities should seek
to involve the youth, and harness their energies, especially for truly
sustainable reforms and institution-building. Significantly, recent events have
awakened many young Filipinos and stirred them to become more politically
involved. Today, there is an opportunity to do political education and
mobilization of the youth on a scale not seen for many years.
Analysis of Options
6. Given these guiding non-negotiable principles, the different positions and options
presented above can now be reviewed, in order to help build common ground and
move towards a consensus on how best to respond to the ZTE-NBN scandal and
the broader political crisis:
“There is no problem with GMA.”
a. Business as usual, status quo. Not holding government accountable in any
way is unacceptable. “Political authority is accountable to the people….
Those who govern have the obligation to answer to the governed”
(Compendium, 408, 409). The nature of the allegations of corruption in this
particular case is so serious, that any government with some sense of
responsibility to its citizens cannot but respond, to work towards establishing
the truth beyond any major question or doubt, and so confirm its legitimacy.
“Political corruption… betrays both moral principles and the norms of social
justice.” (Compendium, 411) Moreover, there is much truth to the view that
fighting corruption is not against the economy. Indeed, corruption is antidevelopment
and anti-poor.
“GMA is not the main problem.”
b. Give up on politics. Among those who hold this position include a range
that spans from the exhausted, to the cynical, to the apathetic. All of them
move towards a position that views all politicians as being equally selfinterested.
Effectively, none of them focuses on GMA as the problem. Such
a view that disengages from all politics and does not identify concrete points
of action and reform only contributes to the sense of hopelessness and
paralysis. At all times, participation in the social and political realms, either as
individuals or as members of organizations, is a duty to be fulfilled with
responsibility and with a view to the common good (Compendium, 189).
c. Focus on the delivery of services to the grassroots. The preferential
option for the poor necessitates a long-term perspective on development
6
beyond mere regime change. It also makes the delivery of services to the
grassroots essential, regardless of who is in power. Thus, those who have
opted to concentrate on this course of action are to be commended.
However, while citizen-involvement in particular areas of social development
and local politics is a form of participation, they will always be constrained by
large-scale anomalies and abuse of power on the national political level. All
citizens must work towards the eradication of the evils of patronage politics
and national political corruption, in order to promote the common good.
“How does one address the GMA problem?”
d. Call on GMA to resign. There are individuals and groups who have been
calling for President Arroyo’s resignation since 2005 and continue to hold
that position as a matter of principle. At that time, the CBCP itself
recognized the call for the President’s resignation, as well as for a “Truth
Commission” and impeachment, as legitimate options under the guiding
principles of accountability, constitutionality, non-violence and effective
governance. While the bishops did not call on President Arroyo to step
down, they asked her to discern “to what extent she might have contributed
to the erosion of effective governance and whether the erosion is so severe
as to be irreversible.” Therefore, those who in conscience have made a
decision that the President should not remain in office deserve respect. Their
call for her to resign voluntarily is one of the options provided for in the
Constitution. However, it also needs to be pointed out that while this
position is one of principled moral conviction, it ceases to be a real political
option if GMA remains resolute that she will not resign voluntarily.
e. Cabinet declaration of incapacity of the President. The Constitution
provides that a majority of Cabinet members can declare in writing to the
Senate President and the House Speaker that “the President is unable to
discharge the powers and duties of his [her] office” (Article VII, Section 11).
This is a constitutional way of removing a President who is seen to be
physically or mentally incapacitated, but the meaning of this provision may
be interpreted more broadly. This is one scenario for an “internal or Palace
coup” within the GMA regime. But such decisions on regime change tend to
be elitist, as they are dependent on so few people. This declaration can be
challenged, however, by the President, in which case Congress may confirm
the Cabinet decision by a two-thirds vote of the two houses of Congress
voting separately. Note that this requirement is even more stringent than the
one-third percentage required for the House of Representatives to send an
impeachment complaint to the Senate for trial.
f. Oust GMA. When faced with the President’s refusal to resign voluntarily,
those who are willing to push the demand for her to step down to the point
of employing even extra-constitutional means must be reminded that
democratic institutions may be harmed in the long-term, especially if a
7
political vacuum is created for groups with an anti-democratic, adventurist or
power-grabbing agenda to try to seize power and hold on to it indefinitely.
g. People Power. People power is a precious legacy from the struggle against
the dictatorship and the restoration of democracy in the Philippines. EDSA I
was the culmination of a long process of political education, organization and
mobilization throughout the martial law years and especially during the nearly
three years after the assassination of former Senator Benigno Aquino. Active
nonviolence was a defining characteristic of EDSA People Power. It is
enshrined in the Constitution, which values initiatives from below as a way of
harnessing the direct participation of the people in politics and governance.
In its current usage, however, it is problematic because it is often equated
with popular insurrection and takeover as a method of regime change. This
creates a dynamic where crisis situations continue to be resolved through
extra-constitutional means which are not predictable, weaken democratic
institutions and install leaders with questionable mandates. Thus an endless
series of EDSA’s spells serious instability.
h. Snap elections. Any call for “snap elections” would be extra-constitutional,
since there is no such provision in the present charter. What the Constitution
provides for is the holding of “special elections,” should vacancies arise in
the offices of both the President and the Vice President. Therefore, those
who are advocating this option presume that both the President and Vice
President will step down or will be made to do so. Moreover, special
elections before 2010 without meaningful preparation and electoral reforms
will only lead to a contest between those already entrenched in power and
thus will not produce genuine change.
i. Military intervention. Some have called for an interventionist role of the
military to effect regime change. While recognizing that there are reformminded
members of the military who have a genuine concern for the good of
the country, military intervention in whatever form must be eschewed,
especially in the present context of a weak Philippine democracy. Allowing
the military to become the arbiter to resolve political conflicts and stalemates
undermines civilian supremacy, long-term democratization and political
stability.
j. An Independent Counsel. Some have called for an independent institution
with the credibility and capacity for investigating and prosecuting
government corruption at the highest levels. This proposal has been made
because some see the Senate investigations as partisan, while the
Ombudsman is overloaded with corruption cases and is perceived as partial
to the government in power, given its recent track record. For this option to
prosper, however, three difficult issues need to be addressed: (i) creating such
a body through a law approved by Congress, (ii) defining the scope of its
power and responsibilities, especially in relation to the Ombudsman, and (iii)
giving it real autonomy, particularly from the President, who would be the
appointing official.
8
k. Impeachment. This mechanism is provided for by the Constitution to exact
accountability from the President. It is also a way by which allegations can be
verified, thus giving the President a fair hearing and an opportunity to defend
herself. However, impeachment will only work if people are willing to
participate actively in pushing for and making sure that this process is
effective (e.g. sustained lobbying, pressuring their representatives in Congress
to prioritize the search for truth and accountability). Thus, it can provide
excellent opportunities for active political participation, especially for citizens
outside Metro Manila.
“How does one go beyond GMA?”
l. Elections. The forthcoming elections in 2010 will be critical. Not only will a
new president be chosen, but this national exercise will also be crucial in the
restoration of trust in the democratic system and the emergence of a new
alternative leadership. It is imperative that they are conducted freely, honestly
and credibly. Furthermore, there is a need for responsible citizens to organize
around candidates, leaders and parties who are upright and capable, and who
can contribute positively to the strengthening of weak institutions.
Action Points
7. It is precisely during times of great upheavals and crises that the call to hope
becomes more urgent. Desperation and cynicism cannot be allowed to eat up
people’s inner resources. To move forward from this crisis means identifying and
pursuing specific forms of action, such as: (a) joining circles of ongoing reflection
and discernment, and efforts at political education and organization, including
training in anti-corruption advocacy (Ehem) and active nonviolence; (b) supporting
institutional efforts to get to the truth and creating a broader climate of truth-telling
which encourages and protects whistleblowers; (c) joining activities that promote
accountability; (d) articulating long-term ideals and policies for national political
reform; and (e) establishing sectoral and multi-sectoral organizations and networks to
promote dialogue and concerted action.
Concretely, eight action areas fall within the range of options which are consistent
with the principles identified above, especially the need to build strong democratic
institutions and promote engaged citizenship for socio-political reform:
a. Support for the ongoing Senate investigation of the ZTE-NBN case not only
to bring out the whole truth on matters of public interest but also to strengthen
the institutional system of checks and balances that seek to prevent the abuse of
power.
9
b. Creation of a credible Independent Counsel , in order to ferret out the veracity
of various allegations and promote accountability within the judicial system, in
which unfortunately many of the official institutions are seen as severely
compromised politically. Thus there is a need for an institutional venue and
mechanism that will be viewed as autonomous of the government currently in
power and free of the antics of traditional politicians.
c. Initiation of a genuine impeachment process, particularly by pressuring
Representatives in the House to hold the President accountable for serious
violations of public trust if there are sufficient bases for doing so.
d. Pursuit of reforms towards government transparency in all its transactions,
especially in processes like procurement, decisions on loans, development
projects, social reforms, and on issues such as mining, energy and land use that
have a profound impact on poor communities and the environment. There is a
need to ensure rigorous implementation of laws and policies, the
institutionalization of a culture of social accountability, free access to
information, and the enhanced participation of civil society in governance
decisions at all levels.
e. Promotion of electoral reforms to ensure the conduct of clean, honest, and
credible elections in 2010, including the revamp of the Comelec, beginning with
the appointment and confirmation of commissioners of unquestioned integrity
and competence; the modernization of the electoral system; the eradication of
warlordism; the monitoring of campaign finance and expenditure; and the
continuing political education of voters.
f. Search for worthy candidates and potential leaders, parties/coalitions and
platforms for 2010, through positive preparations, planning and strategizing.
This would mean clarifying political values and development priorities, candidate
selection and recruitment, resource mobilization, and political organizing.
g. Organization of and support for basic sectors, to enable them to have a real say
in democratic processes and to address the urgent needs of economic
development and social justice.
h. Engagement of the youth in current issues, through political education,
organization and mobilization for democratic institution-building, lobbying for
transparency and accountability, policy reform, and involvement in electoral
politics.
8. These specific and concrete calls for action are not isolated and discrete but are
precisely interconnected in a framework that seeks to promote truth, accountability
and reform. They address gross injustices in the country through active citizen
participation that will support and be supported by efforts at political education,
organization, mobilization and network-building in order to strengthen and
transform democratic political institutions under the Constitution.
10
Responding to the Call for Communal Discernment, Conversion and Action
9. We offer these guidelines as a response to the call of our bishops for “circles of
discernment” to “pray together, reason together, decide together, act together.” We
trust that these reflections help clarify the context, principles and options for people
– especially the youth – who seek to respond in action to the current crisis rather
than succumb to the temptations of despair. For as Pope Benedict XVI has said, “All
serious and upright human conduct is hope in action” (Spe Salvi 35).
Philippine Province of the Society of Jesus
Commission on the Social Apostolate
Easter Sunday, 23 March 2008
Albert E. Alejo, S.J.
Xavier C. Alpasa, S.J.
Anna Marie A. Karaos
Antonio M. La Viña
Jose Cecilio J. Magadia, S.J.
Antonio F. Moreno, S.J.
Ermin B. Pimentel
Karel S. San Juan, S.J.
Benjamin T. Tolosa, Jr.
Primitivo E. Viray, Jr., S.J.
Peter W. Walpole, S.J.
Roberto C. Yap, S.J.

Authentic Happiness

While waiting for my mud-stricken car to get washed and cleaned in a car wash station, I was reading an article in Reader's Digest, "The way to Happiness-by Dianne Hales."
There is one sentence that caught my attention. I found myself reading it over and over again as if reciting a litany of prayer.

"Seligman (PhD) calls authentic happiness: engagement with family, work or a passionate pursuit, and finding meaning from some higher purpose...."

Well, let me see, I am close to my family, which by the way, is one of the things I'm truly proud of. So, on that note, I can say that I am happy. But---not authentically happy if I were to consider the two remaining category.

"work or passionate pursuit"
That strike a nerve of mine. Lately, I have been feeling incomplete. As if there's a hollow hole in my heart, like dropping a silver ball in an endless tunnel.
I have been very busy doing a lot of things, with my work in television production and starting up my business, and regularly going to the gym.
Deadlines here and there.
Phone calls from other offices and agencies.
I am an inch away to mastering the art of multitasking.
But at the end of the day, I don't know what is it that I have accomplished.
I climb the office stairs, knock on other department's door.
I am busy, I am tired, but I know, my mind is not with me.

During quiet times, when I am alone, then, I listen to what's inside me.
Something is missing. Like a piece of a puzzle I can't fit.
I keep on denying myself that silence. But the more i silence it, the louder it gets.
But now I realize, I'm searching for a job that will make me feel fulfilled.
Work, that will make me really, really proud of what I did.
Now I understand, why I am so uneasy and why I am not at peace with myself. Because, I don't feel fulfilled with what I am doing.

Steve Jobs said " struggle to find your passion.."
Boy, I couldn't agree more. It can really be a struggle finding your passion. I might reach my 40th birthday, still not knowing what I am passionate about (I wrote this wishing not to happen).
A magazine "Pursuits and Passion" was published by an insurance company for their anniversary. From cover to cover, it tells stories of people who pursued their passion.
May it be climbing a mountain, running around the country, writing their literature, mixing different coffee beans, and diving with sharks. It might be silly to some, and these passionate people may not offer us a very logical explanation, but in the end-they owe it to themselves. Pursuing your passion.

Robert Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad defined passion as combination of anger and love.

Now that I was able to distinguish what makes me sad, it's time for me to recognize what makes me angry and what I am soooo in love with... and hopefully, find my soul's passion.