How to Lose 7 years of friendship in just 3 weeks

I was contemplating what title is apt for this essay. This emotional outpour of mine is a mix of feelings about lessons I learned in business, in being a friend and in being a complete stranger.

I am so disappointed with my friend. So disappointed that I if I see him, I can slap his face. And I won’t stop until his cheeks turn red and his jaws hurt.

There are so many things running in my mind, like tangled strings. But as I talk to our common friends, I discover things about him, shocking things about him. Strings are slowly untangling, and everything boiled down to one thing, I’m furious at him, and he lost me- a friend for seven years- because of his lies, lies and more lies.

So let me start my story.

Let’s call my friend A.P. We are working together on this soap business. He told me, he had contacts with a big and popular resort in Pampanga where we can supply soaps. Excited as I was for a big opportunity, I immediately get my acts together to be able to deliver.

I ordered the soaps, printed materials and did all the jazz just to make sure that the soaps will land in the shelves of the resort. I encountered problems along the way, but what the heck, it’s part of business so I kept going. I troubled shoot all the glitches and was able to pull through—without any single help coming from him.

Alright, so finally, I was able to finish everything, and we agreed that I will deliver the soaps in his pad later, he will deliver it to the resort in Pampanga. That was like 3 weeks ago. I made sure that I will finish everything before the Holy week. Since Holy Week is the peak season of the vacation. That was March 19-20. I accomplished everything on March 17.

So there, I delivered the soaps to his pad.

I really waited for March 19 to come! And on that day, I texted him, what happened, did the soaps look good on the shelves? He told me, he wasn’t able to give the soaps to the resort, because his contact person is not returning his calls and texts. I told him, why don’t you just go to their office, anyway, they will just be there. His reply was, he went there and can’t leave the soap because no one will receive the items. That blew me! Really blew my patience off my body! Why, why, did not wait for the person then!? That moment, my instinct knocked on my door and told me something’s wrong. He’s lying. For someone in business, for someone who is grabbing all the opportunities that comes his way, that moment, that moment of no one’s receiving is a frustrating thing. Why did he not even tell me, right at that moment!?

"friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them"

A week had passed, and I kept on calling him asking how the soaps are. One reason, another reason, another reason again. And mind you, I texted him at 9:00am, he’ll answer me at 5:00pm, or even later, or even the following day. He told me one night, he’s in the hospital with his dad, checking their blood pressure, that they ate this strange fish. That his aunt had a heart attack, that he has to guard his cousins—which are at his age- 26! Bullshit!

I was texting him, so annoyingly, that even myself is annoyed by me. One day, he told me, his grandfather died. That he can’t attend to the business and that their family is still mourning. Fine, give him space.

A week later, I composed myself and texted him again.

No reply. After two days, no reply.

I recalled everyone I know who knows him. I found his girl best friend – let’s call her lady R.

Lady R. Told me that there are many people hunting AP down.

I found out from AP’s officemate that AP still has many unsettled issues with their office. And most of these, involve money. I also found out, that he owes his pad-mate rental fee. He wasn’t able to pay his rent for a couple of months. Now he’s in hiding. In Alabang.

I was able to get the number of AP’s sister and I asked her can I have the address of their aunt in Alabang. She told me, “I don’t know, I haven’t been there.” So, I asked for the aunt’s number to personally ask the address. The sister’s reply was “My aunt doesn’t know their address” what the fuck! As, in what the fuck! That’s nothing but simple bullshit! You don’t know where you live. You don’t know your address. How stupid a person can be to give me that answer!

I told the sister, ok, if you can’t give me any information, I’ll just report him to the police to finally track him down and end all this his nonsense.

And wait, here’s the best part- AP’s sister doesn’t know about the grandfather’s death! They were all in baguio, for a week! enjoying their vacation when AP told me, their family is mourning. What is that?! WHY?!

I am just so furious! Incredibly furious! I told my boyfriend about it, and I cried to him on the phone. It’s not about the soap, nor the money. But it’s about the time, the patience and the hard work I did just to be able to deliver. It was about the opportunity and the hopes. It was easy for him to throw it and neglect it just like that because, he did not work for it. It has so much, so much value for me. It’s only P8,000.00, but I worked hard for it. I really, really did! I begged him to give me back my soap. I begged, I begged, but it fell on deaf ears. How could he be so stone-hearted?! I’m begging for something I worked hard for.

That night, I was really in pain. For the first time, I knew the feeling of how it is to be betrayed- by a very close friend. AP lied to me. He lied to me. He duped me. Fooled me. Stretched my patience sooooooooo long that I grew tired to sympathize with him. I felt abused as a friend. AP hurt me--- so bad.

At the other end of the spectrum, a person may lie because psychologically he cannot
acknowledge the truth -- even to himself.
Whether people lie depends on their environment -- the likelihood of getting caught and
what will happen if they are caught.
"We lie to cover lies," Ford says.

By Mark Kendall
The Press-Enterprise

Now I know, why he told me that they don’t have a landline phone in Alabang. Why his pad-mate is not talking to him. Why his ex-officemates are talking about him. all those fabricated stories!

As for my soap, I will be able to get them back, with the help of Lady R. Lady R was so kind to call and text people who knows AP. The soaps were left in the apartment. It never reached Pampanga. So, it was not true, that AP went to Pampanga and no one’s there to receive it.

It was a painful experience.

I really cried my heart out that night.

I never thought that he’d lie to me-big time. That he’ll drag me to that kind of mess. That he’d make things difficult for me. Why did he lie to me? Why did he?! i knew he needed money. I gave him sidelines-writing segments for him to earn. I could have earned that money and write those segments, but I made way for him. So he can earn, and have means even for a short time. How dare him do this to me?

As I've aforementioned, I was contemplating, what title is apt for this essay.

At first, I thought, Business 101- never, never, ever, ever do business with friends.

Or, times change, people also do- because I thought I knew him well.

But, I’m just letting my emotions run at this moment- AP lost our friendship. AP lost me as a friend. I don’t know if I will trust him again.

If I were to relate it to business, it’s so true what they say, it takes a lot of time to gain one single customer, but it only takes a while to lose one.

I value more hard work now. I got the boost that I need, to be determined in building up my business. I know I can make it, I know I can!

Part of my prayer, is for God to help me be a good friend. Maybe, this is His answer.

As for you, AP- a wasted, wandering soul- you lost 7 years of friendship in just 3 short weeks.

What in heaven happened to you? grow up.